When I think about my path to becoming a midwife, I realise that it was accompanied by out-of-hospital birth from the very beginning. Similar to an old country road lined with mighty trees.

I experienced my first birth at the age of 19 in a village in Mexico, where I spent my voluntary social year.
This village is very remote in the mountains of Guerrero. The organisation Atzín, where I was working at the time, has set itself the task of promoting and supporting traditional midwives, among other things.
This enabled me to accompany the midwives in their work to a certain extent and to be present at some home births.

My memories of these births are characterised by a very calm, almost silent atmosphere, the darkness and the cosy confines of the rooms. The midwives radiated absolute concentration and at the same time great calmness; although in retrospect I realise that not all births were without complications. During one birth, for example, the umbilical cord slipped next to the baby's head in the birth canal, which is rightly categorised as a rare obstetric emergency in our circles. As a transfer to a hospital would have taken a long time due to the isolation of the village, the midwife decided to continue the birth in the village. She held back the umbilical cord with her hand until the baby was born healthy several hours later.
The midwife, who continued to guide the labouring mother through the birth with few and calm words, did not show her concern or the enormous effort she must have put in.
It's fair to say that my first impression of birth and midwifery was somewhat naive and very positive. It was clear to me: I was going to be a midwife!

A year later, I began my midwifery studies in Christchurch, New Zealand. It was my husband, whom I had met a few years earlier on a student exchange, who brought me there.

Out-of-hospital birth is much more common in New Zealand than in Germany, especially in the many rural areas. Home births and births in birthing centres were also a natural part of the training, as were births in hospital.
So now I got to know both sides and was present at both hospital births and home births.
By no means would I say that the births in the clinic had any kind of deterrent or less meaningful effect on me. But similar to Mexico, the atmosphere of home births had a lasting effect on me. Everything seemed a little calmer and more everyday in a pleasant way than in the clinic.

I see it as a great gift that as a midwife-to-be I learnt to trust in the woman's power to give birth and the natural birth process. I was able to retain this inner security, even when my naivety turned into solid knowledge.

I am now certain that every expectant midwife should be consciously taught to have basic trust in normal birth. That's why, in my opinion, assignments in out-of-hospital midwifery are very important.

After three years, my time as a student came to an end and the first exciting year of my career began. In New Zealand, all new midwives have a mentor in their first year, as many of them go straight into freelancing due to the structures there. My mentor and colleague was a very experienced midwife. We both lived on the outskirts of the city and, together with other midwives, looked after a fairly large rural area. Many women were farmers and planned births at home or in a birthing centre. Partly because the clinic was a bit far away and partly, I think, because birth was a natural part of their lives through their work.

Today I remember this time very wistfully, despite the rose-coloured glasses. I enjoyed the long car journeys in the countryside, the exciting late-night calls, the birth centre that was so familiar to me, accompanying the women and families and, above all, working with my dear colleague.

My first child was also born during this time. It was clear to me that I would have home births. I can't remember actively making this decision at any point, it was simply the right path for me. 
My first daughter was a long time coming after the due date and the birth was also very slow. Then it just didn't go any further and I had a labour arrest. Together with my midwife, we decided to transfer to hospital. I was given an epidural and a drip and soon afterwards I was finally able to hold my daughter in my arms. 
I am very happy and grateful that I got exactly what I needed at the hospital. Planning a home birth doesn't mean being „against“ hospitals, and working as a midwife in a birth centre or attending home births doesn't mean that we think every woman should have an out-of-hospital birth, or that hospitals are „bad“ in any way. 
On the contrary, without the possibility of transferring women and babies to clinics if necessary, we would not be able to do our work at all and so we have great appreciation and respect for our medical colleagues and the midwives in the clinic. 

But now back to my career. My daughter's first pregnancy followed, during which I continued to work as a midwife and my husband brought the baby to me to breastfeed at all times of the day and night. 
It was a somewhat complex system, but it enabled me to breastfeed fully and continue to work as a midwife and gain experience. 
Two years later, my son was born. This time it was slow but steady, so I was able to give birth to him at home. And how wonderful it was to lie in my bed after the birth, with my husband, daughter and newborn baby. 

We then moved to Germany so that we could enjoy our first parental leave without working. As there is no parental allowance in New Zealand, we wanted to „feed ourselves“ through the year with my parents in Hamburg. This one year has now turned into nine and our two New Zealand babies have been joined by two German babies. 

Here in Hamburg, I worked in a clinic, which I really enjoyed doing, as I was able to gain a lot of different experiences and was also able to work routinely with rarer courses. 
Nevertheless, I really missed working as an out-of-hospital midwife, so I enthusiastically decided to help open the new birth centre for Hamburg. I can hardly wait until our doors open to the first families. 

 

 

The home birth of my last child made me realise once again what out-of-hospital birth means for me personally and professionally:
For me, the atmosphere, giving the birth space and time, the familiarity and continuous presence of the midwife, the focus on the woman as an individual and the important role that partners and families can play are still at the forefront.
Our last daughter was born on a Sunday afternoon. And there was exactly that mixture of special atmosphere and pleasant ordinariness that I remembered from my schoolgirl days. Our daughter was greeted directly and joyfully by her three siblings, who sang her a spontaneous welcome song. The birth was an absolute family highlight that the children still often talk about now.

 

My wish is to give women and their families the opportunity to bring their babies into the world in our birth centre in a self-determined way, in a calm atmosphere and with trusting and individualised support.