That was totally ok!

It's spring in Hamburg and the due date for our baby is 9.5.24. May is my favourite month. I would therefore love to have a May baby, but I haven't felt like being pregnant for weeks and have felt ready to have the baby since the due date for a birth in a birthing centre was reached.

On 30 April, I felt the first contractions at 3.30 am. I know what labour pains feel like because I already have a daughter who was delivered by caesarean section, but the birth started with contractions back then too. The first birth in hospital was characterised by absent hospital staff and a well-fitting epidural. I knew from the beginning of my pregnancy that I would go to a birthing centre for my second child. I wanted the security of always having a midwife present.

Back to the labour pains. I realise that the contractions are starting and get out of bed. I breathe out the contractions in the living room. Matze wakes up and asks if it's going to start now. We stand around together a little lost and then Matze decides to lie down again and I try to watch another programme. It only works moderately well because I have to get up for every contraction to breathe in while standing up. I start hitting the wall during the contractions. That helps me a bit. At around 7am we decide to call grandma for our big daughter and at around 8am we want to call the birth centre to discuss the next steps. The midwife suggests we go back into the bath, which I do. The contractions continue to be regular but short. After the bath, we call again and decide to go to the birth centre. The journey is short and very uncomfortable.

We are welcomed by Mathilde at the birth centre. The room is prepared and now I realise that I am going to give birth today. After a few contractions, during which the midwife massages my back, she asks me if I want to be examined. I say yes and she feels my cervix and asks if I want to know how far along I am. I am surprised that no number is thrown at me, which I don't need to know that things are progressing. She says that the cervix is already a little open, but still needs to open a little further. This information is enough for me. I then breathe a few contractions sideways in bed. I am given the TENS unit, which massages my back with electricity. I realise that the device is distracting me from the pain and keeping me occupied. Matze and I move around the rooms and I notice my waters breaking and amniotic fluid trickling down my leg. Then Mathilde suggests doing the Spinning Babies headstand during the labour. We do this too and I feel safe as I hope the exercise will make the labour easier. Then they suggest we go into the pool, which I immediately like. It takes a while to fill the pool, but now the midwifery student Solveig, who we already know from the birth planning consultation, is also there. I feel very well looked after. The contractions slowly start in the pool and I scream at the top of my lungs with every contraction. The pain is absurd and uprooting. Nevertheless, I manage to recover at least briefly during the breaks. Now I change position and move to the birthing stool. I doubt that I'll make it out of the pool, but I succeed. With Matze behind me and Mathilde in front of me, I push as hard as I can. I realise that the shape of my stomach has changed and that motivates me. But the pain is still very intense and I'm screaming the whole time. At some point I get the suggestion to go to the cloth. And then I remember how quickly it happens. I see the head in the mirror below me and the midwife says: „Now push really hard again!“ I actually have no strength left, but somehow I manage to push our baby out during the next contractions. On the sidelines I see the second midwife arrive, but then the baby is already there. I get Alva straight onto my chest and we lie down in bed. Afterwards I say several times: „That was totally ok.“ That's exactly how I feel at that moment and the pain is well worth it. After a while, the midwives tell me that the placenta has to come out and I have to push again. I give Alva to Matze and kneel down to deliver the placenta. This is another huge effort. When the placenta is there, I lie down again and we are shown the placenta. I am impressed and disgusted at the same time.
Then we can arrive in peace and quiet. It felt like an hour before we ate something warm and my birth injuries were examined. I end up with a vaginal tear and two abrasions and I am totally relaxed when the tear is stitched up. Then I'm told to go to the toilet. I manage to get up well, but now I realise how swollen my vulva is - it's gross. Unfortunately, my bladder lets me down and I can only pee after my vulva has been cooled again. Then the U1 takes place, which Solveig carries out with great care. Everything is fine and we are allowed to go home. I can hardly believe it and am extremely grateful that we can return home with Alva after just 8 hours.

I am infinitely grateful to have given birth to Alva in such a self-determined and respectful way and I wish that every woman or person giving birth had the opportunity to have 1:1 care during labour.