Birth report Marlene

Your due date was 22 June 2022 and you made us wait nine more days for you. The wait was terrible. I wanted to finally hold you in my arms, I felt like a walrus on the beach and the constant questions about whether it was going to start yet contributed to my good mood. And then it all started somehow...

On 1 July 2022, I woke up at five in the morning because I urgently needed to go to the toilet. As I staggered around half asleep, I felt the first twinges in my stomach and back. So I spent the time on the loo asking questions like: „Is it going to start now or not?“ and „Are these contractions or just pregnancy twinges?“ After the drowsy wee-wee stop, I climbed back into bed with your dad and just went back to sleep. After all, that's what they tell you in antenatal classes. You're my first child and from what I've heard, it might take a while - spoiler alert: it did.

When your dad and I got up at around 9 o'clock, I didn't tell him about the twinges in my stomach and back. After a while, he asked me what was actually wrong. So I told him something like: „I think maybe, possibly, that I'm having slight contractions and it could possibly start“. To be honest, I had no idea how excited he was, but I was pretty excited... We diligently noted the contractions until the check-up appointment. Eight to ten an hour with a duration of 60 seconds. At the antenatal appointment itself, we started the usual routine - going for a pee, weighing ourselves and starting the conversation. I said that I wasn't sure whether I might be having contractions. The CTG confirmed a slight contraction - I was full of anticipation and excitement. As expected, Nora, our midwife, prepared me for the fact that it could still take some time and that I could of course call at any time.

When I got home, your dad still had to work. I spent the whole day until the early evening waving to myself and wondering how much longer you were actually going to take. Around 6pm after dinner, the contractions got stronger and I started to try out the positions I had practised in the preparation course. The contractions became more intense during the night, your dad supported me wherever he could and found the time for short power naps several times - I was jealous that he still managed to sleep. I walked around the flat until five o'clock in the morning on 2 July 2022, hung myself in our door frames, jumped in and out of the bath and breathed in contraction after contraction. Then I suffered my first motivational setback. After a fucking painful labour, I lay in bed next to your dad and cried. I cried with frustration that I felt nothing was progressing. I cried from helplessness, because as a first-time mother I had no idea what was going on or how I could help myself out of the motivational hole. We discussed whether we should get Nora out of bed. I insisted on letting her sleep until 6 a.m. as I wanted to manage the few contractions on my own. Then your dad called Nora at just before six and we arranged to meet at the birth centre at a quarter to seven.

Your dad took our ready-made birth bag and your baby seat to the car, ran to the bakery, got bread rolls and then me. When we arrived at the birth centre, we ran into the birth room. I grabbed the ball and we talked to Nora as best we could alongside the contractions. She examined me and told me: „The cervix is already five centimetres open.“ That was incredibly reassuring and motivating. I was afraid it might be less open. The change in space did me good and helped me to really embrace the fact that I was going to give birth. Nora kept giving us impulses, which sometimes helped me more, sometimes less. At first we went for a walk outside and we had to stop with every contraction. I clung to your dad and breathed in the contractions. The next few hours were characterised by the contractions becoming more and more painful. In the birth centre, I ran up and down the stairs, lay on my left side in bed, lay on my right side in bed, hung on the ball in a quadruped position and grooved myself. Your dad was rocking my pelvis, holding a hot water bottle to my back and smiling and letting his hands be crushed. If he needed a break, Nora would stand in for him. If a position was particularly painful, I remembered what my mum had told me: „Stay in the positions that are particularly painful, because they are the most effective for progressing the birth.“ So I stayed in the painful positions for as long as possible. In between, I ate and drank, Nora reminded me every now and then. At my request, she checked again how far my cervix had opened. The fact that it had opened further motivated me to keep going. At some point, the pain in my back became so severe that I could no longer relax during the breaks. After I came back from a toilet break, I cried again. Motivation hole number two had been reached. Nora offered me the chance to get into the bath again. With the back pain, she seemed like a saviour. As soon as I was in the tub, I clearly noticed how the back pain was alleviated. The contractions came and went and I was able to regain my strength during the breaks. At some point, the sounding started, which I just couldn't bring myself to do during the preparation course - I found it so embarrassing and funny. After the urge to push slowly set in, Nora checked whether my cervix was open wide enough. You were already very deep in my pelvis and still had an inch of cervix above your head. Nora asked me: „Is it OK for you if I try to push the cervix aside by hand?“. After I agreed, I leant back in the pool. The whole thing hurt and was really uncomfortable, but it worked. After that, your dad could no longer feel his hand.

At some point during the transition phase, Nora told me that it could still take some time and I replied succinctly: „Ok.“ At that moment, everything was just right and I thought to myself: „Gather some strength before it really gets going.“ When my body started to push the contractions through me with full force, I struggled the most. Nora explained that it could easily take another hour before you were with us. I had to motivate myself tremendously and kept telling myself: „I'll be able to hold my baby in my arms soon.“ I felt like my entire vagina was going to tear apart and was convinced that my labia and perineum would be destroyed. Suddenly everything went much faster than expected. I could already see your head and Nora encouraged me to push you out. Despite the animalistic pain, I couldn't resist this elemental force and pushed you out. I didn't quite manage to push your little head into the world with one contraction. In the deep squat position, my legs failed me and your dad had to hold me. Nora motivated me to bring you into the world quickly with the next two contractions. Then you dived through the pool into the world and didn't cry for a while. Everything around me became more hectic. I was far too exhausted to realise it properly, but I was also deeply convinced that you were still connected to me via the umbilical cord. This connection made me trust that you would get help from me for the time being and that you would have a little time. The whole thing was much more difficult for your dad, as he had really realised this. Nora and Matilde were banging you and finally you started to cry. Matilde was the second midwife to accompany us in the final phase of the birth.
I got out of the pool with you and we lay down on the bed with your dad. My vagina and especially my labia were burning like hell and I couldn't really concentrate on you. Nora and Matilde took a picture of my injuries. I was given painkillers and at some point a painkiller spray. You were really hungry during this time and drank from my breast for the first time.
Your dad gave you an umbilicus and now all I had to do was deliver the placenta. This didn't work well at all lying down as I could no longer control or feel my pelvic floor and all the associated muscles. Sitting up worked with the placenta and so you were officially born successfully on 02/07/2022 at 15:31. I was incredibly exhausted, hungry, happy and proud: „We have mastered a birth together! One like I always wanted to experience“.